that, and nothing more. the side of a window only shows the other side but i would much rather see your reflection. i call myself everyday to make sure im on the right wave frequency with everyone else.
i killed the wrong kind of person when i said i loved the way your eyelashes flapped at me and yes i am well aware that flapping can be disgusting.
but you see you make it so coy when i call your name and you respond with a warm yes or no.
to stray away from the category lets work back to low wave frequencies and match the bitter screams you enjoy when you say i love you, but is this predicament all in vein? id like to say no, but the answer will always be yes.
today was very simple. woke up. smoked. danced. the regular thing that seemed about right at the time. i met a guy named sal and he was very very nice! he told me he would take me to get my tattoo and all that so i am probably getting it tomorrow when i wake up.
anyway thats about it!
super awesome blog tomorrow im sure ;]
drinking, smoking, smiling was all i did today and it was probably the best day i have had in a long while. i thought of the anti christ only once today! i was actually fairly surprised that i can be stable in an environment like this. i danced and bought clothing, but the most amazing thing that has possibly happened today was all the memories that where falling back into place.
it was just like being a kid again, just with smoking and chest hair. i was with my friend who lives quite close to my cousin and we walked everywhere. tomorrow we plan on biking to different parks and swim in multiple peoples pools. its like old times and i couldnt be happier with the outcome of our lives.
o i bought some wesc headphones and they are basically my new best friends. i will probably getting a tattoo tomorrow as well. more then likely and ohm or a unknown thats shaped like an A.
i hope everyone enjoyed there day as much as i did.
well i just got to houston and it was a very nice trip up! i slept for a couple of hours and then sat in the back of the truck for the rest of the trip listening to mainly blue grass things. it looked a little ridiculousness to passersby but it was alot of fun. we stopped in the town close to the check point (cant spell it for people who know it) to go get some mango which me and my friend ate in the back while we were enjoying the sun rays. i wish i had taken pictures ,but my camera is dead and i was not about to bring my mildly expensive computer outside… anyway! after a good little nap in the back we got up and started dancing which was some what of a really bad idea. anyway the drive turned out really well! i will be taking pictures tomorrow to start off my adventure blog.
ps i am turning off everything twitter myspace aim all of that because i want to really enjoy this vaykay so i will get on to tell everyone i updated this but nothing more. well maybe some aimag but not alot!
going out see you tomorrow
good morning. how are you today? for starters i have not been using this as much as i should, but i decided that i should really start it up again. i am leaving to houston today and i can not wait. you know things that have been happening these past few two months have just become totally uncalled for and its all been due to about three different people but one main problem has been settling in my perifs ,and its been pretty uncomfortable to be in a situation you really really do not want to be in anymore. i was thinking i should be more thankful for this shitty outcome because i know that these experiences can teach you the greatest life learned lesson if you allow them to. so i just finished packing and i am about ready to go to church. once thats all done im going to probably get a pillow and a blanket and strap myself on top of the roof of the car and soak up this unbearable sun.
my honesty is somewhat flawed. i dont define the great people of this country and i sure as hell dont accommodate to your likes or needs. i am somewhat of a slacker and a hard ass at heart, but this does not mean that i dont have a heart, or feelings. it has come a apparent to me that i have fallen out of the chain of reality due to one person, and it was sickening and disgusting to believe that i could possibly let anyone try to take advantage of me in that way. but i get it all the time. i get it every single day and i dont seem to care or do anything about it. but lets face it, we all want that form of love or sex or whatever you want to call it. its not a lust full thing. its not a incredible love thing. its just the ability to look at someone and say wow. i truly believed that i could find something like that out of someone that couldnt even find the right side of them because there was more then two. so i look back and question. was it a mistake? was it a regret? no no no i do not belive that these were either mistakes or do i regret i because as much as i hate it now, i still loved it when it had breath and life in it. and no i am not depressed and in super need of hugs because the door is closed and the chapter is written. simple as it may sounds i am quite content with how everything is going at the moment. even if my world was kinda teetering around i have finally come to the conclusion that you will probably never get to see the best of me because you insist on seeing the beautiful flaws because i know you think they are beautiful because you like to look at them more then my bests. its just a vent believe me
this next few months are going to consist of a few things:
i need to start getting on the ball about my school work, and finish up so i can move out.
i need to find a job for the time being.
i need to sign up for my act’s i know that ive missed all the dead lines for most colleges but im going to just go in for the spring so tev..
then i need to apply for all the colleges my little heart designers.
i know it doesnt sound like a lot but it actually really is, and it worries me that im not going to make any of that happen.
but i really need to take it easy and throw out all the irrelevant bull shit that im having to do like do this ccd shit and deal with the rents.
so im going to get on the ball from this day on and actually put goals in action
-alex
So this weekend was so amazing and it just could not have been better! Me and monika went to austin to work the town ,and thats exactly what we did. and it was muy bueno! I met so many people like Gabriel, Jp, Nick, Alex, L.A, Steve, Booger Beenz and the list goes on. I really did not think that this weekend was going to be a big deal but it some what opened my eyes to so many things. I just really had the time of my life and when I came back to the valley I was kinda sad. And it seemed a little odd to me that I felt like that but it just seemed like Austin was so much fun that I rooted myself there in the midst of a weekend, and im going to try my hardest to just graduate really soon and just be done with the valley. I know that all that is easier said then done but right now I really need to take action and this has opened my eyes. Im really glad I met every one I met and I hope I see them again soon but in the mean time im going to have books in my nose and just try to get done with everything
-Alex
this is how i look in austin. this was much needed muy bueno
